As Christians, we are all part of one body. When one member is struggling or hurt, it affects the whole body. We should be in relationship with other Christians and respond to them in love. Love sometimes requires us to just listen, to pray, to confront, to advise, or to encourage. We need to care enough to be involved in the lives of others, and to then react in love. Philippians 2:3-4 exhorts, “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (ESV)
Sometimes, we need to have difficult conversations with another believer. Our first step needs to be to take the matter to God. Make sure God wants you to proceed and how He wants you to approach the matter. Have prayer backup without gossiping or sharing any details. Make sure you are not the problem in the situation. Be sensitive to why they are choosing to do what they are doing, and see them as God does-full of potential and loved. Always speak out of love. Check your motives and heart before ever going to the other person.
When giving advice, make sure you listen first. Proverbs 18:13 says, “If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and shame.” (ESV) Don’t presume you know what is in their heart, but hear what they have to say. There may be things about the decision they are making that you did not know or have not considered. Proverbs 18:2 warns us, “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.” (ESV) You need to make sure you understand what is involved before you give advice. Pray before, during, and after your conversation. Allow the Holy Spirit to talk to you and help you see truth. Make sure you give positive input before and after advice. Encourage with what you see that they are doing positively or what you value about them. Don’t take it personally if your advice is rejected. “God is the One who changes the hearts and minds. Your responsibility is to deposit the seed of truth and trust the Lord of the harvest to bring the increase.”
Seeking advice is wise. Proverbs 11:14 shares the wise statement, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in abundance of counselors there is safety.” Once the advice is evaluated, it can give us a different way of looking at things, provide valuable insights, or help us see something we may have missed. Proverbs 12:15 reminds us, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.” (ESV)
Taking advice can be humbling. Pride must not be allowed to get in the way. It is not easy to stay flexible and willing to change. Of course, it helps if we respect the advisor and know they are speaking from a place of love and wisdom. Before following advice, make sure it aligns with scriptural teaching and seek God for His will in the situation.
Dave Hyatt, Pastor for Local and Global Outreach at Hershey Free Church discusses being flexible, being able to take advice, and how to give advice in this video.
Works Cited
McDowell, C. (2013, June 27). 10 Commandments of
Giving Godly Advice. Retrieved from What Christians Want to Know:
www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com
Tindle, M. (n.d.). 6 Ways To Be Smarter About
Difficult Conversations. Retrieved from edamove:
http://edamove.com/6-ways-to-be-smarter-about-difficult-conversations
